I have written about my views on
medication in the past but I felt like I should revisit it.
Browsing through panic disorder
message boards on the web, it has surprised me how many people are taking
multiple medications in order to escape from their panic disorder. I
completely understand the thought behind this: They say that a panic attack can
be the most frightening experience of a person's entire life. And I can
say that it is for mine so far. Even Vietnam war veterans have said they would rather go back to that experience
than go through another panic attack. Why would you not want to take a pill and make it
all go away? I get that.
One major problem I have is the
notion that taking a benzo or SSRI is treating a person's panic
disorder. This is wrong. That is like saying that giving pain
killers to a person that broke their leg is treating the broken limb. It
is not. Yes it alleviates the symptoms, but take away the medication and
you are back at square one. The only way to treat panic disorder is to
understand the biology behind it and use CBT to retrain your brain to respond
differently to your thoughts. I hope that by reading through the rest of this blog you can start to understand why this is the case.
Medication to panic disorder is just a
security blanket: Imagine you are on a crowded bus and start to feel panicked
so you reach into your purse to grab a pill. But you can't find
any. What do you think this will do to your anxiety level? To the
severity of your panic attack? Yes, it will be WORSE. Remember, with this disorder you need to show your amygdala that a panic attack is not scary or dangerous. By taking a pill, you are telling it that yes the experience was scary or dangerous so you took a pill to make all of those feelings go away. You are only going to make it harder for yourself when you decide to treat your panic attacks for good.
What bothers me is how many people
try the CBT thing and decide "It doesn't work for me". In my opinion, these people were not trained to properly use these techniques,
or else they have not spent enough time working hard to learn the techniques. For the first 4 months of my
therapy, I thought I was trying, and I thought I was doing everything right. But you know what?
Each panic attack scared the hell of out me and I wasn't able to use the skills
properly. It takes a LONG TIME to be able to do this. It takes a
lot of practice and a lot of patience. But if you tell me that it "doesn't
work for you"....I will just have trouble believing that. If you work hard and honestly
give 100% of yourself, it will work. Trust me. Please put down your medication and
start actually treating your anxiety disorder!!
Hi there - Thanks for sharing this, I enjoyed reading it, as also finding your site. I've struggled with a panic disorder for about 3 years, did the whole CBT thing, finally went on Prozac to alleviate the panic that was proving difficult to keep my job. I was on Prozac for about 2 years and was doing great, occasional panic, but all in all felt a lot better and was able to get back to a normal work and social life (I also suffer from agoraphobia.)
ReplyDeleteAbout a month ago, after being off of the Prozac for a few months, my panic came back full force after one attack. I find that in trying to deal with a panic attack, sourcing the things I've learned in CBT, concentrating on breathing, relaxing muscles, trying to talk myself into the irrational-ness of panic, etc, just makes it worse for me. It's almost as if I focus on these things, that I've surrendered to the fact that I'm in the midst of panic which frightens me even more.
I've found it to be super frustrating to be back at "square-one" with my panic disorder after having worked so hard at it, and recently made the decision to get back on prozac. Reading this entry I totally understand what you're saying, as I debated the decision to go back on it for a few weeks. It's a deeply personal decision, but ultimately I felt the need to do so to relieve the suffering I've been going through.
Do you think it's ever a good decision to utilize medication in instances where you're "suffering?" Have you also had any of the same feelings with things you use to calm yourself triggering more anxiety?
Hey there. Thanks for your comments. I understand what you are going through and I agree that it is a personal decision. And I know exactly what you mean by "suffering". I have had weeks where I am in agony wondering why the hell I am feeling like this even though I use all of the CBT techniques to the best of my ability. I had an episode a few months ago where I woke up to a panic attack every night around 4am. And I have previously never experienced them while I was sleeping before so it was totally new for me. I usually couldn't fall back asleep so I was just sleep deprived for a week or more. And it sucked.
ReplyDeleteBut the thing that really seems to make a difference, at least for me, is acceptance. I accepted that I was going to wake up at 4am and it was going to suck but it is not life threatening and I just continued to live as normally as possible (i.e. go to bed a little earlier or whatever). It took maybe a week or so to get into this mind set but once I was able to, eventually the attacks stopped and I haven't had one for months now.
The big thing with my panic disorder is a fear that something is actually wrong with me. If someone could tell me with 100% certainty that everything I feel is just anxiety, I would not have the disorder. The panic attacks themselves do not bother me at all UNLESS I have doubt that it is actually a panic attack and not something truly life threatening. And even with that doubt I am usually able to have the mind set that if I have a heart attack right now, someone would find me and take me to a hospital or else I will just die. And I have gotten to a place mentally where I can accept that. I make the mental decision that to live my life normally I need to take the risk in assuming that all of my scary physical sensations are harmless panic attacks. This is a hard place to reach mentally but it is really what pushed me over the edge to where I am now.
So I guess that is a long way for me to say that no, for me personally I would not utilize medication even if I am suffering from anxiety. Because by using medications, it confirms that it indeed anxiety and not something actually life threatening and wrong with me. And just by using my thoughts and accepting that I am experiencing anxiety will make the symptoms lessen or go away.
Are you fearful of the panic attack itself or the thought that you might be dying of something or passing out or something like that? How long after your big panic attack did you try using CBT before you decided get back on prozac?
And of course feel free to email me at panicremission@gmail.com if you want to talk more about it. Thanks so much for reading and responding!
I think I disagree... the medication was truly my salvation when I was in a state of constant terror for three consecutive months. I was so scared that I couldn't take a bath or shower for fear I would pass out and drown (I did, of course, shower, but I was very quick about it!) I left my windows open in the winter months so that someone might hear my children's cries if I died unexpectedly. I was terrified while driving that I would black out and crash into oncoming traffic. The grocery store was a nightmare. My nerves were, in a word, shot. After my third trip to the ER, (and a 911 call the first time) I decided to give the medication a try, and whoa... I was, for the first time in MONTHS, able to sleep without that weird frustrating thing where your body jerks awake as though you are dying every time you fall asleep. It was instantaneous relief. That was the day I realized it really was all in my head, and able to believe the doctors and specialists-- I was not dying. The meds have stabilized me for a year and a half... but I do see what you are saying about the sudden disappearance of the med... In discussion with my therapist I jokingly describe it as "a fear of living a post apocalyptic world" where there is no access to my medications. I don't like the dependency I feel and would love to get off... but I am scared to. I wonder, will I ever be brave enough to do it? And would it truly be a wise decision? I am still grappling with this one.
ReplyDeleteHi Jamie. Yeah I understand that medication can be useful when you get yourself trapped in that hole and need help digging yourself out. But now that you have been on it for a while and can safely say that you aren't dying, it was all just a normal-physiological-response-gone-rogue, now is the time to wean yourself off and face the panic attack, knowing full well that it is a harmless panic attack, and then start to get rid of this horribly annoying disorder. What is there to be scared of? A panic attack won't hurt you. It does suck to go through, but it won't hurt you. I know you are brave enough to do it!!!!! Seriously, its a life changer Jamie.
ReplyDeleteWell, you have inspired me. I am gradually decreasing the Klonopin. That's the one that bothers me the most. Day two, no big issues yet ;-)
ReplyDelete-Jamie
Medication helped me but its a chemical fix and they often have side effects. Its really easy to get into anxiety and panic attacks but bloody difficult to get out. Took me along time but eventually broke free from this conditions. Combined lots of methods to get changing my thoughts, exercise, relaxation, etc. Keep up the good work, loved reading through some of your posts.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about taking prescription meds for panic attacks, but one of my family members was advised to take Magnesium. I would think a natural treatment has got to be better.
ReplyDelete